Nightfall

bipolarmanicme

I hate coming home to an empty house.  I open the door, and there is nothing.  It is quiet.  Lonely.  Always dark.  I sit my things down on the table, feed the cats, and then take my meds.

I take five pills.  First, birth control.  As much as I want another baby, as many times as Cameron has told me as soon as we are married we could try.  When he left he told me I could stop taking it.  But, I am afraid.  If I stop taking it, and we have a baby right away I can’t continue my other medications, and then what?  An overly hormonal, bipolar, manic, crazy women…the odds don’t seem to be in my favor, or the babies.

The second pill I take is an antidepressant.  I have taken it longer than any of the others.  When I started it I didn’t know I was…

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