I am Alice


Part of my recovery journey is learning about my illness. With learning about my illness comes the ability to identify when I am going full blown manic. It’s been two weeks since I’ve had an episode. Now, laying on the couch I know I am in full blown manic mode. My thoughts are racing.

Did I lock the doors? How many breaths can I count of Cadence’s? Why do people sleep anyways? I don’t need sleep. I’m not tired. What color is the sky at night? Does it stay blue or does it turn black? Are cats allergic to chocolate like dogs? My leg hurts. I could get up and clean, but that might wake Cameron and Cadence. Why doesn’t everyone like me? What about Monday? Will the new group like me? What if I fail at this? Worst case I fail and I finally get the rest I need…

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